July 17, 2017

A Guide to Moving in With Your Boyfriend

What to expect when moving in with your boyfriend and what things you need when you move in with your boyfriend. Living with your boyfriend. Why you should live with your boyfriend before marriage. Tips for moving in with your boyfriend. What I learned moving in with my boyfriend | brazenandbrunette.com

Hello friends, I have news for you... me and my bf have moved in together. Yep big things going on in my life because apparently I can't escape adulating lol. If you want a fun "should we move in together quiz," take this quiz

Anyways one thing that really surprised me about going to law school is how many people are wifed up. I was expecting law school to be just like 17th grade but surprisingly a lot of law students are in their late 20's/early 30's and I swear everyone you meet is either married (some even with kids!), engaged, or in a serious relationship. So I'm guessing at least one of you out there will be in this situation soon so I figured I might as well blog about my whole 3 weeks of experience.

Related: New apartment hunting tips

What to expect

First off, let me prepare you for how this will go living with your POSSLQ (lil family law reference for y'all). The first day or two is like a "honeymoon phase" where you're both just so excited to get to see each other so much and you're ordering pizza to have with your LaMarca so you can have a cute photo session of yay we're living together because when else can you be this cutesy cheesy? 

But then comes an adjustment period. This is where you have little fights over things that are inevitable because you just couldn't have prepared for it— like you both shower at the same time of the day but there's not enough hot water or time for you two to keep up this routine so someone will have to change their daily schedule, or one of you prefers to empty out a clean dishwasher and slowly reload it with dirty dishes while the other prefers to keep an empty dishwasher and load dirty dishes as you go. In my case, he moved in with me so this also included him getting used to where I keep things so I'm not getting calls in the middle of the day because for the love of God he can't find where I store the salt and pepper. 

But then you get used to living together and things are great. It's nice to have someone help me zip up my dresses before work or help me cook dinner after studying. Here's another bonus— one day last week I just didn't sleep well but I still had to rally for work and then stick it out through class/reading and after my workout I just fell to the floor and cried from feeling exhausted and overwhelmed but luckily I had someone who could rub my back and remind me that I'm a badass. 10/10 would recommend having someone on standby to comfort you through a mental breakdown.

What you'll need

Alexa + smart switchOkay I already shared my echo dot as one of my Spring Semester Favorites, but I felt the need to include it again in this list too. In less than a week we already had a situation where we both ended up in bed but lights were still on in the living room. Back in the 20th Century, this would've meant that someone one would have to get out of the nice warm bed and go turn everything off. Cue argument over who was the last person in that room and should be the one sacrificed to the Cold Air Gods. But I had him install a smart switch so now all we have to do is just say Alexa turn off the lamp and problem solved. We plan to get another one for the TV and honestly probably some for bedroom lamps because once you get used to this you can't go back to being a peasant who actually has to touch a lamp switch haha (kidding but not).

Amazon FireTV Stick - Part of the adjustment period is learning to live your life but with someone else there. There's times when his show is on but I need to study or when my show is on at the exact time that that one of his shows are on. So getting something like the fire stick solves a little bit of this because if one of us can't watch our show then we can just go in later and catch up. We ended up having one for the bedroom TV and one for the living room TV so if all else fails we can always just go to the other room to watch something.

Bar - I don't have room in my little apartment for a bar cart, so I make do with this bar shelf. This has turned out to be super handy so far because we love to invite friends over to drink and play poker or cards against humanity. Pro tip- when you first move in together, host a "stock the bar" party and invite literally everyone. What will happen is that your friends will all bring over some liquor, wine, or beer and then boom you're stocked up on free alcohol all at the expense of some mixers, ice, and cups. 

Go ahead and get this bar set. The ice bucket is a little small but other than that it's perfect. Oh and you'll want this electric wine opener (I love it) and these wine caps (traditional wine stoppers usually make bottles too tall for fridge shelves). When we were out shopping for what we'd need when we moved in together, he picked up a set of small wine glasses for us to get and I said If I'm going to live with you, I'm going to need the BIG glasses and this lady that was right beside us overheard me and started dying laughing and told him that I was right. I'm assuming she has experience of living with an S.O. so if she's right then we'll be going through a lot of wine.

Dishwasher magnet - Remember how you'll have little fights over things you didn't anticipate? Prevent at least one of these with a dishwasher magnet that tells you if the dishes are dirty or clean. Because nothing is worse than grabbing a bowl out of the dishwasher because you think they're all clean but you don't realize that the dishwasher is actually full of dirty dishes.

Extra basics - Just trust me that you will need at least double bath towels, dishes, and silverware than what you expect. When I lived with roommates in undergrad we all brought our own things. But here you're playing house (or actually living it) with a shared bathroom and being real adults who are past using paper plates and plastic forks. So get extra of what you think you'll need or else you'll be running the dishwasher or washing machine every other day just so you can have something to eat with or dry off with.

Grocery rebate apps - If you think that having your S.O. move in will equal your grocery bill going down since he can help you pay, you are mistaken. Having a guy around means that you'll go through food faster and there will also be the added expense of having to buy his snacks that you don't like so you never paid for before. And especially now that we are trying new recipes (more on that later), it feels like we're always at the grocery store. 

So we both use Ibotta all the time! I made him download it too because you get an extra $10 free when you sign up (yay free money) and have him use it after every trip he takes... but heads up you can't trick it into you both using the receipt at the same time so only one person use one at a time. But you can also use another very similar app called Checkout 51 that gives you $5 free when you sign up (yay free money x2). So while you both can't use the same receipt for Ibotta, you can use the same receipt for Checkout 51 since they have different promotions. This works out great because sometimes one app has a special that the other doesn't so I definitely recommend using both to get the most $$ back (I'm up to over $40 this summer from both combined!!)

Headphones - Idk what it is but guys love their video games so expect one to be the plus one with your guy. I actually picked out this gaming headset for him after his last one died and he loves it. He can chat with his friends during their raids and I don't have to hear all of them shouting out directions through my TV. On the flipside of this, I have realized that studying is a little bit more tricky with a roommate (I lived alone for 1L and 2L year). While my basic noise-canceling headphones worked just fine to block out my neighbor's noises, I had to step up and get some serious noise-canceling headphones. Right now these are super helpful while I take online classes so I can hear to my lecture videos and he doesn't have to tip-toe around.

Mouthwash - Add this to your nightly routine and it'll really help cut down on morning breath! It's a small little thing but it really does help so you can lay in bed in the morning and cuddle and chat without being self-conscious about your breath being like that one episode from SpongeBob.

Phone chargers - I'm hereby coining Nikki's Law, defined as "for every roommate you have, you will lose a phone charger cord and/or cube." But for real though, go ahead and order an extra phone cord (double points if it's extra long) and at least one extra cube. I promise you they're going to "borrow" it and never return it. So right now we have two phone cords/cubes in the bedroom, another set in the living room, another set in the kitchen, and another in each car. It's worth the investment to have a way to charge your phone at every place you normally need it and then no one is stealing anyone else's any losing carrying it around the house. 

Poo pouri - I got this as a gag gift at Christmas but jokes on them it's actually very useful. Long story short, keep this somewhere where you can't miss it (like right by the toilet paper or toilet handle) and have both of you get in the habit of spraying this on the water before you go to the bathroom. Then this saves you from the very awkward Hey don't go in there for a few minutes conversation.

Recipe book - We came up with this idea and it's too cute for me to not share with anyone who will listen. Get a blank recipe book. Pick a night of the week that is "experiment night." Take turns finding recipes through Pinterest or the Food Network App or wherever and then y'all try cooking a new recipe together. Whoever finds the recipe writes it down in the book if it turns out to be a win. In the end you have a recipe book that's full of only dishes that you know you both like (so later you can just blindly open to a page and cook that) but it also doubles as a cute memento of all of the meals you've shared together.

Shopping list pad - Another one of my Spring Favorites. In undergrad I didn't care when my roommates ate or what they ate because we all just kinda had our own meal schedule. With your SO it's a little different and you end up planning meals and shopping together. This pad helps keep track of all of the things you need for that. It's also a good way to avoid those moments when you get home from the grocery store and he goes oh yeah I forgot to tell you that I used up all of the milk this morning. Again, just trying to prevent those unnecessary little fights. Another thing very similar to this that I got is this "honey do" list and it's actually great. I'm still pleasantly surprised every time I write hang pictures above nightstand and then I come home and they're actually hung!

Sleep set - In an ideal world, you both would go to bed and get up at the same time together. But unfortunately in the real world, and especially during that first week of adjusting, that's not always the case. A good sleep mask with ear plugs is a good thing to have on hand so that both of y'all can go to sleep when you want to and stay asleep for as long as you want to. It's also nice just to have for those terrible days when you come home from class and just need to nap away your problems.

Trashcan with a lid - Another just trust me thing. Even if he's grown up with sisters, you're still going to have to hear an Ew gross! once a month if your bathroom trashcan doesn't have a lid. I swear guys never get used to this.

Wreath - Technically you could use this even if you live alone because they're just so gosh darn cute, but once you start having a home together you should make it look official. Get you a little door wreath and you'll be amazed at how homey your place will instantly feel and you'll feel so grown up when everyone sees it when they come over.

What I've learned

Because I'm a law student, the number one thing that I had to do before we even unpacked the first box was explain what I needed out of him so I could study. In the least bitchy way I could, I had to explain that his job now included quizzing me on my outline before finals and making himself seen and not heard when I had to read and especially the day before finals. I also had to explain to him that in general, but especially around finals, I am a little ball of stress, so if I get bitchy or I spontaneously start crying he needs to know that it's just because of the stress and not necessarily because I hate him. Obviously just because I'm a law student doesn't mean that I can be a complete pain, but sorry kid law students are just a little harder to live with than regular people. Another must that I had to point out: even if the Facebook video of the puppy saving the kitten is adorable and I'd love it, please just save it until a study break and don't interrupt me "real quick" because then I'll get out of my groove. 

And since we both have pretty full schedules, weekends are the best. We got this picnic basket and every weekend we'll pack it with either lunch (club sandwiches are our fave so far) or brunch (fruit and croissants for the win) and go exploring and find a new park. Getting outside and just spending time chatting or playing cards or something is a great way to keep from becoming super boring. We like picnics because they're free but if all else just plan on getting out of the house and spending time together while you can.


  1. This so helpful!! I just got married and am starting law school in the fall and while I technically live in my husband's apartment now, it's more like couch surfing while we wait until we move into our new place in a month. This list is perfect!

    1. Thank you I'm glad you liked it! But of course if you or your husband think of anything that could be added let me know :)

  2. Very random! First I surfed your blog for a while then found this which is sooo applicable to me right now. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and he wants to move with me to law school so many people said this is a bad idea. I would love to know your opinion!