Keeping Up with Long Distance Friendships in Law School

One thing that I noticed this time last year was how much effort it can be to be a good friend while you're in law school. Going from living a few minutes away from your friends and seeing them all the time to graduating and moving apart is a big change. Even though I was really busy my first semester at law school, I really missed my friends and talked to them all the time. But as it got closer to the second semester, I noticed that me and my friends would talk less and less and I felt like we were slowly drifting apart. So I decided to put forth just a little extra effort so that law school wouldn't isolate me from all of my college friends. If you feel like you're starting to have that problem, here's a few things that I tried and worked.

Schedule time

It sounds overdramatic to "pencil in" a conversation with your friends, but sometimes it can really help. For example, my sister had a lunch break at the same time that I did last year so we got in the habit of just calling each other on our way home. This worked out perfect for me because I had someone to talk to while I ran home for lunch but it was only like a 10 minute drive so it never ended up being this long conversation. I know a lot of people in our generation hate talking on the phone but a quick daily chat was a good way for me and my sister to keep in touch. 

Do something together

One day me and my friend were both talking about how we wanted to get in better shape, so we decided to do a workout plan together. This turned out great because I had someone to keep me accountable/complain about this to. It wasn't the same as going to the gym with a friend but it was nice to have someone doing this workout plan with me and gave us a reason to talk every day to make sure the other was sticking to it.

Snap streaks

This is the easiest/most frustrating thing I've done. With a few of my friends we've really gotten in to having snap streaks. Because you have to snap someone every day, you end up sharing even the boring parts of your day because what else do you have to snap. It sucks when you get busy for just one day and have to start all over, but it forces you to remember to say hey to your friends every day. And usually we end up having a whole conversation about our days so it makes the long-distance thing easier.

Netflix & text

Lol yeah not Netflix and chill. Me and one of my friends both really like movies, so usually about once a week one of us will pick a movie (we swap turns) and then we'll call each other and do a countdown so we start the movie at the same time. Then we end up just texting the entire movie about it. I've grown to love this tradition because watching movies alone sometimes makes me feel like a loser all by myself so it's nice to kinda have someone watching it with you. But you definitely have to find someone who isn't bothered by talking during a movie or they'll probably hate you for this. 

Related: Perfect Movies for Law Students, Favorite Law TV Shows

Plan trips

Last year, basically all of my college friends were still at our college either working on a masters degree or finishing up undergrad. This was super convenient for me because I could plan a road trip once a semester to go back and see all of them in one weekend. If your friends are scattered out, you might try making a plan to meet up with one in the middle of where you to are. Another thing you could do is have her come visit you the first semester and then you go to her the next. This way you at least get to see each other twice a year (it sounds low, but this can be hard with 2 busy schedules) and you only have to pay for one trip. Having a getaway weekend is great during the stressful months because you have something to look forward to and then you can get a full weekend off. Just make sure that you plan in advance to study more that week so that you can have a stress free weekend and don't let these trips overdo your budget.

Get a show

This is kinda like the Netflix concept. A friend and I both got really in to Scandal in college so now its our show. I always make sure to get my reading done early that day so that when its Scandal time I can sit down with a glass of wine and live text OMG to my friend for the next hour. Another spin on this is that me and my guy friend are both Cowboys fans so we'll always try to watch the game together. Little things like this give you a reminder/reason to text them at least weekly and then also gives you something to talk about more than just "how was your day" kinda stuff.

FaceTime

This is another one of my favorites because it helps me forget that my friends are so far away now. Me and my friend will FaceTime the other every other week or so just to talk about our day and catch up. I like this better than talking on the phone because if I'm not looking directly at someone, it can be hard for me to not get distracted. 

Final thoughts

Just remember that if your friend doesn't go to law school/has no interest in the law, watch yourself so you don't bore them to death. Idk why, but it seems like all law students can talk about are cases, classes, and professors. Use your non-law friends as a way to keep yourself normal and talk about anything else. These are more suggestions just to get the ball rolling and keep it rolling if you've been finding yourself neglecting your friendships and need a way to make yourself be a better friend.

Bouncing Back from a Bad Grade in Law School

I know I just got done bragging about my grades, but it was a struggle to get there. To be real with y'all, I got a few C's my first year of law school. Luckily mine were at least C+ and I got more B's than C's so I was content with that. But I know realistically some of you reading this didn't do so hot your first semester. First off just know that I'm here for you if you want to vent or talk about your grades or anythings else. I hope y'all feel free to email me whenever you have something to ask me. So here's what you can do. 

Related: How to Get an A in Law School

Calm down

I know that's the easy thing to say right now but I'm being serious. Don't be too hard on yourself. Yes you didn't do as well as you had expected and even if you did slack a little, what's done is done and beating yourself up isn't exactly going to help you stay positive next semester if and when school gets hard again. In law school, you really do have to learn to be your own cheerleader or this can get really overwhelming. Sure a little kick in the rear might be what you need to get yourself together and get motivated, but seriously don't waste your energy tearing yourself down. 

Also, know that in law school it's super common to get a C so even if you got a D you're not that far behind everyone like you might be if this is undergrad. And don't you dare start trying to find out what your friends made or compare yourself to them! It's toxic and it literally won't help your self esteem at all. Even if you did better than your friends thats not going to help you at all when you're trying to improve yourself. 

Related: Keeping You Confidence in Law School

Figure out what happened

If you got a bad grade then something went very wrong and you're going to have to figure out what it was. If timing was your issue and the test simply ended before you had time to finish, then this semester you need to work on doing full length practice problems until you get faster. If you had okay answers but got your grade because of the curve, you'll need to start strategizing on how to point chase better. If you had a nervous break down and just couldn't (you think I'm kidding but this actually happens), then you need to get to know yourself and learn what you can do to keep yourself calm, cool, and collected. Of course, most of the answers to your questions will come from when you meet up with your professor to review your test/grade. Trust me, I know that it's embarrassing to go in there and feel like an idiot but you can't expect to improve your grade when you're not certain about what your test grader is looking for. 

Related: Tips for Law School Finals

Be careful with asking for help

Not to talk badly about anyone's job, but through undergrad and going to two different law schools I have learned that academic support is either a hit or miss. Sometimes they will basically just say what I said in my last point but will know of resources that your school has, such as tutoring or subelements for subjects in the library or old tests to practice on. Other times they might just scare you in to thinking that if you do not wake up at 6 am to study before class and then study from after class until midnight then you will definitely for sure absolutely flunk out. I advise you to ask around to any upperclassmen that you might've met to make sure that they're the first type before you make an appointment.

Also be a little careful asking a new friend to help. You don't know for sure that they actually did well on their tests so it could just be the blind leading the blind. And their study methods might not even help you. For example: I like to zone out on review days right before finals because other people's questions tend to confuse me on topics that I already understand, but for other people these are the classes where they can get some last-minute learning in. Everyone is different so don't think just because your study style is different that it's any worse. What's more important is working to find what study style does work for you!

Power on

If there is one thing that I learned last year is that "fake it 'til you make it" should be the mantra for all 1L's. Seriously, even the top people in your class are probably still confused about a lot of legal concepts. You gotta keep pushing on. You might not realize what it was that was detrimental to you at once, but you still need to be trying to improve yourself. If you wait until you're the perfect student to start studying then you're going to miss most of this next semester and seriously screw yourself over even worse. Again, the bad grade happened, it sucks, but you still gotta get through this next semester.

And remember, C's get degrees. Realistically, only like your first one or two employers will care about your grades. The rest will care more about your legal skills and reputation. Getting a bad grade in law school doesn't necessarily mean you'd be a bad lawyer, it just means that the other students that you went up against just so happened to do better than you on that one particular test.

Related: How to save your law school GPA